One of the things about gigging throughout the country is I get to stay in hotels. Usually 2-3 days at a time. The boredom usually sets in just about the time I wake up. This is after a really good 2-3 hour sleep, helped by the Stag group who are on the same floor, and every other fucking floor.
Then I think about the delicious breakfast that is downstairs waiting on me. I just think about it though, as most clubs now only pay for the room, so unless I want to pay £8.95 , I’m not having it. I try and console myself by thinking my instant porridge snack is much healthier, and drier, and its only 50 pence out of the pound shop ( I buy 2).
One of the biggest bits of bullshit you’ll hear in a green room at a comedy club ( and there’s tons!) is a comic ,when asked what he’s going to do during the day, will answer” got some writing to do”
What this veritable wordsworth ( not even going to check if that’s a real word) really means , is he will be masturbating a lot. The only writing he will be doing is typing You Porn into his laptop. Or occasionally a line in the bookies.
Now I’m not judging these comics. I’m the first to admit I do tons of writing in my hotel room. Sometimes I run out of tissues, I do that much writing.
All I’m saying to my fellow comics is give it a fucking rest with the “writing pish”. Just admit you watch Flog It , while flogging it.
Writing this , while in my hotel room , may even be the first bit of “real” writing ever done by a comic. I would like to add more but I’m away to do some heavy writing!!