Want to buy a Beaver?

Want to buy a Beaver Gary? I would hazard a guess not one of the many people who are reading this (23 people) have ever been asked that question. Even if yer names not Gary,still don’t think so.

Want to see ma Beaver? Possibly been asked. If yer 13.

There’s the problem with setting yourself up as someone who will buy anything stolen, you have to buy fuckin everything.

I should make a disclaimer here by adding this isn’t true (it is)

If you knock back stuff then people will stop offering you it, and word gets around “I took a fucking Antelope to the cunt and he didnae buy it, fucking raging by the way, fucking Springbok Gazelle, or something like that, it was a fucking belter!”

Oh aye, in case you are thinking I only specialised in exotic animals, they were rare purchases. It was mostly car stereos,and other opportunist items.

Open window?that’s handy…

I was only 18 at the time, and living at my mums meant I just didn’t have the storage space for the Antelope (Personly I thought it was a Thomsons Gazelle)

The beaver was a more managable size. It had been stolen out of a pub in Glasgow and the guy selling me it said it was a fuckin belter!( this was just at the start of the 1980’s when fucking belter was used to describe lots of things)
He also added his dog had pished on it.

As you do when owning a Beaver, you have to name it. This one was Boaby

Boaby the Beaver

I was 18 and knew nothing of Taxidermy cleaning, but I still bought it. Who wouldn’t?

This was years before Internet so I couldn’t Google the price of a stuffed Beaver, so it ended up just getting swapped for Acid and a bit of dope.