Ma man Dan…

I’ve gigged with a lot of “character acts”. These comics will dress up in some outfit, change their accent, and then do their stuff. There are some cracking acts out there.

Last night I did a gig with a guy who isnt a comic but just a tribute act. Dasak Dan is a Borat lookalike but due to legal challenges,can only call himself Dasak Dan. Now I’m not here to slag the guy off (but I will) as I’m sure he is a decent guy (I’m not sure,for sure) but the thing was, he was in character the whole fucking night.

I understand him doing this when walking about the room getting his photo taken, but sitting next to me for dinner was too much. “ayyyyyeeeee leek your stand up verry goooodd” Aye nae bother mate! I’m trying to have a normal conversation and he’s kissing both my cheeks while sounding like Manuel from Faulty Towers.

Are you gigging much Dan? ” eeeessss veeery ard to make the Skotish lovely people” look Dan I’m not lowering my intelligance by having this conversation with a cunt that’s no been on the telly in 5 years so be prepared to be blanked!

Dae you know any plasterers looking for a bit of casual work? See this is the normal shite we will talk about. You doing a power with the wummin Dan? Normal stuff.

I’m not 12 so it is pretty insulting him thinking I’m going along with this. I’m just an act like you Dan so lose the accent and lets hear “Fuck sake Gary I’m fucking sick of this Borat pish! Every night after a gig I go home and hate myself a wee bit more for having to act like a fucking imbecile in front of these steaming cunts! I was happy selling insurance, before some cunt said I looked like Borat”


To be honest I dont think he would use the word cunt as many times as I’ve imagined.

There must come a time though,when our carreers will run parallel. People telling me I’m not funny and people asking him who Borat is? No business like showbusiness. Well possibly Plastering.