Big man in a jaiket….

I bought a leather jacket last week. Apart from wearing one on my motorbike a few years ago, I haven’t owned a fashionable, or even unfashionable one in 20 years. A leather jacket used to be worn by everyone of my Da’s age. Mostly worn at the weekend, when it signified you were going for a night oot. The leather jacket meant business.

Every top man in Glasgow wore a black leather.Brown was for diddy’s

I remember growing up and seeing ma uncle Billy wearing a full length leather! Fuck! I thought. What a cool fucker he looked. The leather combined with the haircut of the day, the feather cut, well he was too cool for cats.

In the 1980’s I spent £800 on a full length leather.This was when E’s were £20. This doesn’t justify spending that kind of money, but it does show you how much a fanny I was. This was the kind of jacket a SS Captain, or a Goth King would have worn. It was a fucking belter. I remember the first night I wore it. Swaggering down Gt Western Rd speeding out my box,I thought I was Mr Fucking Cool. This lasted 5 minutes till I walked by 3 bams who, giving me 50 yards,shouted “haul Batman! Where’s fucking Robin?”
I sold that coat for £30 on Ebay 15 years later. A fat goth is now swaggering about somewhere stinking of petula oil.

I realise as I get older the chances of me being a champion at anything are slim. I’m clinging on to the dream of being a champ in the veteran category in Table Tennis. A dream.
Last week though,I thought I might take a title off an old nemesis of mine, Allan Miller. Allan is not only a funny guy but also holder of the Throwing a Satsuma Furthest title.

I had my first run in, with Allan back in January when I took the Eating A Full Haggis In The Quickest Time title, which Allan had held for several years. Devastated is as good as any 10 letter word to describe how Allan felt losing to me.

Knowing he held the Satsuma title meant it was only a matter of time before I challenged him. Monday then saw 2 warriors in full battle dress (denims and jumper)meet at Springburn Park in Glasgow. A park that had witnessed many battles before today, mostly with bottles, knives and bits of fence.

I’ll be honest and say right now, my naivety in Satsuma Throwing meant I thought it was a formality and my brute strengh( big erms) would see me through. I was wrong! I was beaten by a Satsuma Thrower of the highest quality.

I could go into more detail, but right now I’m boring myself so a photo of the event should do.

Record Satsuma Throw